Shadows That Haunt You
by Rikki Writinglover
Summary: Sequel to "What's Hidden Inside" The team has seen everything inside Tony's head thanks to Loki, and its taking it's toll on the genius. It's up to them to heal Tony before he self destructs. Warnings: Dark thoughts
1. Chapter 1

Tony was hiding. He had gotten out of the damn hospital a week ago, and promptly ran into the lab, locking it down completely so no one could come in after him. He hadn't slept, and he hadn't eaten at all, because no matter what he wasn't leaving the damn lab, and he just honestly didn't care about his health. He knew it wasn't right to do this to everyone, but he couldn't face them anymore. He had seen the pity in their eyes from the second he woke up, and it burned.

Tony HATED pity, but he feared the hatred that would surely come after a while. Every secret he had, every private thought, feeling, or anything in his mind, had been laid out for the people he cared most about to see. Sure now they felt bad for him…but soon they'd remember all the horrible things they saw him do and say, and they'd hate him. How could they not when they saw that he was a monster? That he was weak? His mask was all he had to protect him, and now FUCKIN LOKI destroyed that. Destroyed him.

Tony felt his gaze drifting to the rather sharp piece of medal in his hands. It was jagged, and the edges would get the job done if he cut deep enough and cut more than once. Tony had said he wouldn't ever try it again, for Pepper. Except now Pepper would be gone. They all would be, because finally they all saw how pathetic and worthless he truly was. Now everyone knows the snarky badass he pretended to be didn't exist, and they would all leave him. Sure, they'd been trying like hell to get in the last week, but that was guilt acting, not love. They'd get over it, right? They'd give up. Fury would kick him off the team for sure; Pepper would probably pack her bags the second she knew he was still breathing and could leave without guilt. Everyone he loved would be gone and he couldn't take that, couldn't take being alone, not again. So he took a deep breath and positioned the sharp medal shard right over his wrist. He could do this, he knew he could, and there would be no one here to save him this time.

"Don't you dare. " Suddenly a strong hand grabbed his wrist, forcing him to drop the medal and Tony looked up to see Clint glaring at him angrily and pleadingly. "How'd you get in here?" Tony spat, trying to get him to leave. Why did people keep saving him? They would all be safer with him dead. They'd probably be happier. Clint just glared and still didn't take his hand off Tony's, as if he was going to run. "Air vents. Now everyone is outside that lab door, and if I don't bring you out in 5 minutes then Thor is smashing in with the hammer."

Tony looked at him helplessly. "Why, why won't you just leave me alone huh?" Clint's gazed softened and he quickly pulled Tony into a tight hug. "Because we care about you and we aren't going to let you hurt yourself. I can't believe you think….God Tony if I hadn't been here…..do you have any idea what that would do to us?" Tony pulled away but Clint didn't miss the disbelief on his face. He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair in irritation. "You don't believe us. Dammit Tony, I just wish…."

Tony looked up and saw the lost look on Clint's face and hated it. He freaking admired Clint, he didn't want Clint to think he was weak. Except now, thanks to Loki, he knew. They all knew everything and he had no secrets. "Tony, we won't give up on you. No matter what." Clint clenched his jaw in determination and grabbed Tony's arm, gently pulling him towards the doors where everyone was waiting outside. Tony sighed ruefully giving in. "Fine, let's go before Thor breaks my lab." Clint shot him a stern and caring look as he towed Tony to the doors. "You're going to eat, and sleep, and until further notice, you ARE NOT leaving my sight. I won't lose you."

…

"Tony Stark, I'm going to kill you, I swear to god." Pepper growled as Tony exited the lab with Clint. Clint smiled and Tony huffed before the small woman suddenly tackled him, knocking him out of Clint's grip and onto the floor.

"Don't you EVER, I mean EVER, Lock yourself away from me again, or so help me…." The threat was made less effective by the tears running down her face, and guilt rose up in Tony's chest. He hated to see Pepper cry, she looked so scared when she cried, and he loved his Pepper the way she was supposed to be, brave strong, understanding. "I'm sorry Pep, it was just…a lot." Understanding immediately dawned in Pepper's eyes and she kissed him gently on the lips, and stood pulling him with her.

He quickly took in the sight of his friends squashed into the small white hallway outside the lab. Clint and Natasha were on either side of him in their usual defensive/protective positions, ready to pounce. Steve and Thor were positioned behind Pepper, Steve with those damn doe eyes practically melting a hole in his skull, Thor just smiling a kind of sad/relived smile at him, and Bruce and Rhodey were further down the hallway watching his every move.

He sighed dropping his eyes to the ground to avoid their looks and felt Clint put a comforting hand on his shoulder. "Alright, shower, food, and then sleep, got it Tony?" Tony nodded weakly and Pepper pushed him down the hallway towards the elevator.

….

"Where's Pepper?" Steve said sitting on the couch of the lavish living room in Tony and Pepper's personal floors, surrounded by the other Avengers, all who were waiting on Tony to get out of the shower.

Clint sighed and Steve could see the bags built up under the young archer's eyes. "With Tony, We can't leave him alone, even for a minute. When I got into the lab he was about to slit his wrist, If we leave him alone with himself he could be in danger." Natasha squeezed Clint's hand tight and took a deep breath. Steve felt tears spring to his eyes and let his head fall backward into the couch. Bruce took a few deep breaths and sat down in the big recliner, rubbing his temples and Thor just leaned against the wall, clenching his hammer tightly.

"Alright, so we don't leave him alone." Bruce said trying to stay calm. Natasha instinctively reached out from the edge of the couch to rub comforting circles on Bruce's back as he took deep breaths. "We can't crowd him though; it might cause a panic attack." Natasha whispered and Clint nodded in agreement. "I already told him he won't be out of my sight, but even I can't be there all the time. We'll just have to take turns. I'm sure we all want to talk to him anyway, you just have to be very careful about it."

"What are we going to do about the debriefing tomorrow? Fury said he doesn't need our reports, because he's not going to put anything we saw in Tony's mind into a file; but Tony will have to tell exactly what happened with Loki." Thor flinched at Loki's name and sighed quietly. "Brother Tony will surely tell Fury. I imagine it wouldn't be a good idea to try and keep him out of the loop. He needs to be assured we still value him as a team member; that we do not see him weak."

Clint clenched his jaw. "You're right Thor. He has to go tomorrow; at least Rhodey will be there too, even if Pepper can't come. It will help put him at ease." Natasha's eyebrows furrowed. "Where is Rhodey?" Bruce's head popped up and he answered quickly. "Rhodey went to talk to his boss; he's taking the next month or so off for Tony and need to fill out some forms or something."

Natasha nodded and kissed Clint's cheek. "Pepper is taking Tony to bed after he gets out, she isn't going to fight him on eating until morning, everyone is tired, and I doubt he'll submit that easy tonight anyway. I'll take the first shift, you go get some sleep." Clint shot her a look and she sighed. "Fine, you can crash on the couch in here, but you're sleeping. I'll stay up for a few hours then we can switch. The rest of you aren't arguing with me, you're sleeping."

**So Here it is! The sequal to What'd Hidden Inside! I am going to try and make the chapters longer this time, I swear. It's always hard to come close to the original, but I will try my best. I hope you enjoy, I love you all! Review please!**


	2. Chapter 2

Three hours later Natasha was staring intently at the door to Tony and Pepper's room, lost completely in her thoughts. Clint's head was resting in her lab and his rhythmic breathing was the only sound sweeping the quiet room, her fingers were running aimlessly through his hair and she thought about forcing him into their room to go the bed when suddenly the door creaked ,breaking the silence. Not to her surprise, Tony stepped out of the bedroom quietly, his hair disheveled and eyes distant until they locked onto her, and they turned nervous. "Uh- hey Natasha."

Natasha smiled softly, gently slipping out from under Clint and walking straight up to Tony, and hugging him tightly, like she wanted to do the moment he walked into that white room in his mind. Tony froze in shock under her touch, confusion sweeping over his tired features, and she sighed fondly running a gentle hand through his hair before resting it on his shoulder "Come get some food Tony." Slowly pulling away she grabbed his hand and gently tugged him towards the kitchen, and he came without argument, following with soft footsteps.

She sat the billionaire in his chair at the kitchen table, and crossed to the fridge. She shuffled around for a quick moment before victoriously pulling some leftover Chinese out, slipping it into the microwave. The glowing numbers began counting down and she took her seat next to Tony, looking into his wary brown eyes. "I would like to say thank you, Tony."

Tony jerked back quickly in surprise at that, mouth agape. "Um- What?" Tony had two sets of expectations to how everyone would react- Everyone else pitying him, and Natasha to tell him to get over it. Never did he expect to hear "Thank you" from either party.

Natasha just smiled softly again, a soft warm glow in her eyes, totally unaffected by his reaction. "Tony, I mistreated you, for that I am sorry. That isn't the point though. Tony Stark, you have been watching over me. You didn't want me to know, which it is completely your right to keep secrets by the way." She stopped for a moment as the microwave beeped, jumping up in catlike grace, retrieving the food and sitting it in front of him, and continued without missing a beat.

"No one has ever cared enough about me to watch over me, except Clint, but you showed me kindness before that, much before. I had forgotten that, which I'm not happy about. I have the nerve to call you selfish, yet you had shown me then, and since then, extreme kindness, even though you had barely had any shown to you your whole life, for that I am grateful."

Tony just stared at her, for once in his life, utterly speechless. His fingers drifted to the Chinese chicken and he ate a few pieces in silence before finally working up the nerve to reply. "It was never a chore to watch out for you Natasha."

She gave him a brilliant smile at this and leaned over kissing him on the cheek. "I want you to know I don't hate you. Even a little, you're my friend Tony, and more than that, you're a big brother to me."

He gave her a halfhearted smile at that and she just reached out, holding his hand as they sat in comfortable silence for a moment. "So I guess Clint isn't kidding on the whole "I'm not letting you out of my sight" thing huh?"

Natasha nods and laughs a little. "Clint wants you safe. You're his best friend, his brother Tony. He loves you, and Clint will go out of his way to protect the things he loves." She sees the immediate disbelief mar his features once more and sorrow rushes through her. No one should be so surprised that people care about them, and Natasha's pissed that Tony is so in the mindset that he doesn't deserve to be cared about.

"Alright Tony, time to go back to bed, you need the sleep." A familiar smirk crosses his face and Tony rolls his eyes at her "Yes mom." The sarcasm lacks its usual bite though, and she just smirks back, pulling up from the chair and giving him a gentle shove toward the direction of the bedroom. "Sleep, Tony." He smiles again and begins to head out of the room, but she doesn't miss the sadness in his eyes as Tony leaves the kitchen. "Goodnight Natasha." She hears him speak softly and can't help the warmth that spreads through her when he says it. "Night Tony." She whispers even though she knows he can't hear anymore. It might take a fight to get Tony truly happy again, but damn, she would go through hell to get there, and she knew she had 7 other people right behind her. (Including a grouch with an eye patch who wouldn't admit it if it killed him.)

Steve sat in his room, staring at the ceiling accusingly after tossing and turning for hours. He couldn't help the guilt still pooling in the pit of his stomach, even if everyone had told him a million times that it wasn't his fault. He couldn't help it; it's a part of who he is. Not only should he have seen Tony's pain as a friend, but as a team leader as well. It was his job to manage the wellbeing and care of the entire group. Fine job he was doing.

"_Master Rogers, is there anything I can do to help you with your unease?" _Steve jumped in spite of himself. Sometimes he swore he was never going to get use to this time period. "Um yeah Jarvis, I was wondering, how come you never told us about Tony's…sadness?" He tried that for lack of a better word, but it still sounded pathetic. _"Sir has thoroughly instructed me never to tell anyone of Sir's life, even when I am enormously concerned for him." _Steve sighed in irritation, running his hands through his hair and thinking. "Well could, in the future, if you grow concerned about Tony, tell me something along the lines of Code Red and Gold? Just so we can keep an eye on him?"

_"Sir has never forbidden me to say those words to you Master Rogers, so yes that would be quite possible." _Steve smiled upwards at Jarvis. Despite Tony's constant insistence that Jarvis did NOT live in the ceiling, that's where Steve always looked when talking to the A.I. "Thanks Jarvis."

"_It is my pleasure, Master Rogers. Is there anything else I may help you with?" _Steve smiled again and sighed. "Naw, I think I'll try and catch a little shut eye. Just alert me if there's a Code Red and Gold please." "_Certainly, Master Rogers, Sleep well."_ Comforted by the A.I's reassurance, Steve finally fell asleep, even if he was still worried, the guilt wasn't going to go away, so at least Tony was in good hands.


	3. Chapter 3

_"Worthless. Pathetic. I hate you, they hate you. You are worth NOTHING to them."_ Howard's voice whispered cruelly in Tony's mind and he shot up in his sleep, tears streaming down his face, all the memories of the dreams rushing back to him, crushing him under their weight.

Blood. So MUCH blood. Strangled voices BEGGING him to stop-for him to just please stop the pain- first the voices of the spies he once tortured, slowly transforming into the voices of the people he loved. Pepper, Rhodey, the team. The darkness surrounding him as he heard the desperate begging voices of the people he loved and JUST COULDN'T STOP … He hadn't realized he was sobbing until Pepper's arms encircled him and she began whispering soothing reassurances in his ear. "Tony, Tony baby breathe. Come back to me. Tony baby _TONY."_

The pain in her voice brings him back to reality and Tony shuddered taking in Pepper's worried embrace and losing it. "Pepper?" He says brokenly, a silent prayer as the sobs overtake his body and she squeezes him tighter wiping the tears from his eyes. "Tony I'm here. I love you and I will ALWAYS be here."

Tony nods weakly burying his face in her long hair, tears slowing and he clutches her tightly, no other coherent thought except PEPPER, and the PAIN. "God Pepper, I don't wanna hurt people. I don't wanna hurt YOU." He breathes fearfully; sounding the most vulnerable he has in a long time. Pepper pulls away determined, looking into his eyes and stroking his hair softly. "Tony Stark, you do NOT hurt people. You save them. You're a hero. You are determined and strong, and I love you. You might act like the bad guy to push people away, but these eyes? These beautiful big brown eyes tell me that you're loving, caring, strong, and I fall more in love with you every time I look at them. You're my hero Tony. You save people, you save ME. Every damn day, Just by being you save me."

Tony's eyes searched hers for any waver in her conviction, and finding none he just sighed, falling into her lap as she pulled back guiding his head down gently. "It's alright. I'm not going ANYWHERE." This time, he believed her and let his eyes drift closed again his quiet whimpering the only thing left of his sobbing.

Later, Pepper sat watching the man she loved sleep, not even caring that she was going numb from sitting in this position for hours. Sunlight peaked though the windows as the sun began to rise in the sky and she smiled tears running down her face as she felt the steady heartbeats of her lover under her slender fingers. She hated how SAD Tony had been last night. She might have known he had a bad past, but somehow she had missed that Tony's life consisted of fighting to keep himself from disappearing every damn day. A gentle knock pulled her out of her daze- The signal for breadfeast.

"Tony, love. Time to wake up." She whispered quietly running her fingers through his messy brown hair, and was rewarded by big brown eyes popping open, gentle and scared. She sighed smiling quickly wiping the tears pooling in her eyes from them before he woke up enough to realize what she was doing. His sleepy eyes drifted up to her and she leaned down kissing his forehead, once again remembering how much she LOVED this man. "Come on sleepyhead, breadfeast outside." He smiled and nodded sitting up and rubbing his eyes as his brain pulled itself from sleep and running her fingers through his hair one more time she stood, slipping to the door and opening it, letting Natasha in.

The woman smiled gently at her and Pepper smiled back nodding to the still waking up Tony. "Just take him down to breadfeast alright? I'm gonna go hop in a quick shower." Natasha nodded and patted Pepper on the arm. "We got him Pepper, take your time." Pepper smiled weakly again before shooting a worried glance towards Tony again and making her way to him. "I'll be down in just a minute Tony. Go eat." He nodded and she kissed him on the forehead before disappearing into the bathroom, leaving Natasha and Tony alone.

He stared at her for a moment, wondering if what happened the night before was real, or just some cruel dream he had thought up, when Natasha smiled sweetly(sweetly for her) and gestured towards the living room. "Well? Come on, those pancakes aren't going to eat themselves." He stood slowly walking towards her and she slipped her hand into his, giving it a reassuring squeeze before letting go and guiding him once again towards the kitchen.

"Tony!" Bruce exclaimed happily as Tony and Natasha came into the kitchen. Thor, Steve, Rhodey, and Clint all sat at the table with big plates of pancakes in front of them. (Thor's looked more like a small mountain) Bruce was at the stove, flipping pancakes and smiling, wearing a very ironic green apron. Tony couldn't resist grinning and chuckled. "Make me up a hulk sized portion Doc." Bruce rolled his eyes and went back to work, but Tony didn't miss the fact that he was still watching him out of the corner of his eye. He sighed, falling into the chair across from Steve, who cleared his throat meeting his eyes warily. "Hey Tony, Fury wants us to come in for a debrief today, just about Loki's condition. Is that okay?"

Tony gulped and suddenly the bustling kitchen went dead quiet. "Um- yeah Steve. I can do that. How are those pancakes coming Big Green?" He said sarcastically in a desperate attempt to lighten the mood. Steve nodded and went back to talking with Thor, and Bruce groaned dropping a large stack of pancakes onto his plate. "You eat, Every. Single. One." Bruce said sternly and Tony sighed, completely NOT hungry-despite the intoxicating smell drifting to him. He rolled his eyes in a desperate attempt to cover the sick grimace that appeared when he stuck his fork into the food. He didn't even realize his nails were digging into his thigh under the table until he felt Natasha discreetly grab his hand from under the table, and shot him a disapproving glare. He shrugged in half-hearted apology. Old habits were hard to break, and he didn't really want to right now. "Yes momma Hulk."

**Hey guys! Alright so there was some sort of Fan Fiction glitch last night, terribly sorry for any of you who it confused. I hope you enjoyed these chapters. I am trying very hard to do a good job with this sequel, I've never written one before, and its a little hard trying to compete with the original, but I'm trying! Hope you like, Review me please!"**


	4. Chapter 4

Clint was doing what he did best, he was watching. It probably wouldn't be so abnormal though, if he wasn't watching from the air vents. He knew it was Bruce's turn to watch Tony, and yeah he knew the big guy wouldn't let anything happen to him, but that didn't stop him from perching in the vents of the lab and watching. He trusted Bruce, he did, but honestly after all the crap in Tony's head he didn't trust anyone but himself, Nat, and Pepper to keep the billionaire out of trouble. When he saw Tony about to slit his wrists…that look of pure hopelessness and self-hate in the usually kind brown eyes of the inventor was singlehandedly the scariest thing he'd ever seen. Tony was supposed to be happy, that's who they had all thought he was before this, a crazy happy billionaire who had a big ego. Tony Stark was supposed to love himself too much, not hate himself. "**_Guess that part of him didn't change,"_** Clint thought morbidly. "**_Still never does what he's supposed to."_**

Clint tried to shake those thought off and went back to focusing on Tony and Bruce. Right now they were just working in the lab, nothing stuff, but still the only real conversation Bruce and Tony were having had been straight to the point, even Clint had gotten most of it. That worried him further, and it was obviously bothering Bruce as well, because he had just spilt something for like the 8th time and Bruce just wasn't that clumsy. Probably the quiet, when Tony and Bruce worked it was usually a big mess of words no one understood. Now it was…..just quiet. Unnervingly quiet. Everyone knew the billionaire was like the single most talkative person on Earth, secrets or none. It's how he filled the silence. Tony was still Tony, he was still sarcastic, still a badass genius. He's just a very sad sarcastic badass genius, with a really, really bad past and self-esteem issues.. Well, sort of, if you wanted to be optimistic. Clint chuckled under his breath at that thought. "Good thing I'm an optimist…"

The fact Tony was being quiet worried him, and apparently it was really bugging Bruce cause Clint heard the sound of breaking glass again, jolting him from his thoughts and then Bruce muttering in irritation. Clint had a pretty good feeling the reason for the clumsiness was that Bruce was more focused on watching Tony than the experiments, which in a lab of highly explosive chemicals is probably not a good idea. He can't blame the guy though; every damn time Tony looked at or touched a sharp object, any time he saw that LOOK even flicker in his eyes he wanted to run down and just hug Tony,(even though hugging wasn't something he did often.) flinging whatever sharp object it was across the room. Then bring back Howard Stark from the dead and burn the bastard until he screamed for mercy, and then keep him burning. Except he knew Tony would hate that, at least part that involved him, so he couldn't. He was stuck just watching for now. At least watching he knew Tony was safe, and Clint was going to make sure it stayed that way.

…

Fury didn't really know what to expect when he called this debriefing. But it probably wasn't this. Tony Stark sat in his usual seat at the end of the table, but no one else was sitting in their seats. Natasha and Clint were directly behind Tony, slightly back to back and in protective, borderline aggressive stances, glaring at Fury like they could burn a hole through his head just for calling the meeting. Steve and Rhodey were on either side of Tony, Rhodey with his hand resting on Tony's shoulder and Steve just standing with his arms crossed, looking actually rather menacing. He could easily be mistaken for a bodyguard if you didn't know the man. Bruce and Thor were leaning against the wall closest to the door, in a position so that either men could either flee the room or get to Tony in a flash should something sensitive come up. Bruce had that calm smile that he wore right before he let the Hulk out to smash, and Thor looked battle ready, his hand tightly gripping his hammer.

Fury was in awe, to say the least. Maybe without realizing it, the team had all formed a protective circle around the billionaire. The only one who seemed completely aware of the circle was the billionaire himself, and honestly it took all Fury's self- control not to burst out laughing at the completely bewildered expression on his face. He had seen confident, happy, broken, and lost expressions on Tony's face before, but never had he looked so confused. It was amusing and endearing at the same time, not that he was going to admit that. Ever.

"I know you have all been through quite a lot, so I'll make this quick. Tony I just need you to explain the state Loki's in a little more detailed. We picked up his body, but we don't know how much security we really need to put on him. " Fury said his words slowly carefully measuring Tony's reaction. Tony paled a little, and Rhodey gave his shoulder a squeeze before Tony nodded. "Minimum guard, lots of alarms. What happened is…..well when you all were…inside my head, Loki had to be there too. He and …..my subconscious …..basically fought for dominance in my mind. Well while why he was distracted messing with you guys, I- my subconscious, slipped into his mind, and did the same thing he did to me. I trapped his consciousness in deepest recesses of his mind; he's basically a vegetable now. Like a coma, but he will never wake up on his own. I sealed a door that trapped him in his past, and can't be opened from the inside."

Tony took a deep breath and closed his eyes for a moment, and Fury took the hint. "Alright, dismissed. Except Stark, stay for a moment please." Fury said nonchalantly, pretending to look at his phone as he watched the team. Everyone shot Tony a nervous look and then glanced at Fury before Tony nodded slowly. It was actually a little disturbing how in sync they all seemed. Tony smiled weakly nodding at them, and waving them away. "Go on guys I'll be out in a second. Old one eye wants to chat." Everyone but Clint and Natasha gave Tony a concerned glance before exiting. Clint looked back in forth between Tony and Fury a moment, his gaze conflicted before his expression went blank and he nodded, exiting as well. Natasha just patted Tony on the shoulder gently and gave him a tiny smile, then turned to Fury giving him a warning glare from hell before sliding out the door, closing the it behind her softly.

Fury looked up at Tony slowly as if he just noticed everyone had left and tried not to laugh in amusement at the billionaire, who fiddling his thumbs under the table nervously like a kid who was called to the office. Fury sighed in frustration. He still didn't know how to do this."Sta-Tony.I believe some information has slipped your radar." Tony's eyes went wide. "What!? Is someone in danger? Pepper, the team?" Fury quickly held up his hand trying not to lose his platonic expression but stopping the billionaire's panic before it started. Tony's panic turned back to confusion. "Did I-Loki? Did I mess something up?"

Tony's guilty tone caught Fury off guard and he stood in exasperation. "No Tony! Nothing like that. You did fine. What I'm trying to say is-" He growled and crossed the room to the genius looking him in the eye and giving up at trying to make it sound professional.

"Tony, you are a valuable and irreplaceable member of this team. You mean a lot to everyone and no one wants to lose you. You have worked miracles where others would have thrown in the towel a long time ago, and I admire that, and you. Now don't expect me to treat you like a cripple because we saw inside your mind, but know people care. You are a full member of the Avengers, and there is nearly nothing you can do to change that. I'm not taking you off the team, and I won't unless you try to take over the world or something equally as stupid. I respect you Tony Stark, and not just because of your bastard of a father's name, but because of what YOU have done with your life. Now you may be dismissed."

He turned away and went to go back to the stack of papers at his end of the table when he heard a slight bump coming from the air vents and resisted glaring in irritation. Clint!, dammit another person saw him be kind to Tony. Damn Barton. Then someone cleared their throat and he cursed himself forgetting Tony-Stark- he had to stop doing that first name thing, they might get a big head-Tony's voice cracked with shock but he still stood and tried to speak. "I-um. Thank you Fury. Ya know, for…just thanks." Then footsteps and a door opening and shutting behind him and Fury was left in silence. With Tony gone, Fury let his shoulders relax then smirked. "Barton get the hell out of my air vents or I will come up there and clip your wings." There was a moment of silence before a slightly abashed Clint stuck his face to the opening. "Um- sorry Director Fury." Then he smiled and got that Clint- evil- glare in his eyes. "You know Fury, that's a mighty big name for such a soft man, maybe we should change your name to Director Cuddles. What do ya think? Still too tough?." Fury calmly let his hand drift towards his gun and Clint held his hands up in surrender, but contradictingly pulled his legs in front of him to sit Indian style. "Leaving!, Leaving, don't get your stuffing in twist teddy bear."

The shot was heard all around the Helicarrier, and if asked Fury would say he missed Barton on purpose, not that Clint moved his foot last minute.

**This was a weird I haven't updated as recently, I have been super busy and then I was sick yesterday. Anyways I hope you all enjoy, love you!**


	5. Chapter 5

Natasha listened to the soft notes of the music fill the empty room she found and let herself flow with it, for the first time in ages. The wooden floor cool on her bare feet as they moved her gracefully across the room, her body moving like water, the gentle beat controlling her, making her feel as if she was floating. She moves like a shadow dancing in the dimly lit room, lulling her into her own world. Her heart races with the notes a content smile spreading across her face as she find a piece of herself she left behind so many years ago. Finally, as the song ends she spins one last time and finishes strong, the last note hanging in the air, a ghost in the silence. She breathes heavily for a moment before a quiet clapping shocks her, breaking the silence and she immediately on instinct grabs the knife off of her thigh and spins to find the intruder.

Tony is standing at the door, leaning on the frame and just smiling at her, his eyes actually shining for the first time in a while. His hair is disheveled and he's in a unkempt T-shit and sweats, his eyes a little weary, and very tired. Pepper had to go to an emergency business meeting for just tonight, she remembers. Natasha knew the other woman didn't want to go, but at Tony's insistence and with the fact the Stark Ind. Still needed running, Pepper had gone and Tony was left alone for the night. She relaxes letting the knife down and he smiles wider, some of the tiredness leaving his features. "You're still a beautiful dancer Natalia." Natasha chuckles softly and bites her lip nervously. "You know, I haven't danced since I was a little girl." Tony smiles brightly and nods in understanding running his hand through his sweat soaked hair, slicking it back and catching her interest.

"Why are you sweaty Tony?" He raised an eyebrow thoughtfully, the smirks evilly. "Gave old Capsicle the slip. He'll probably find me in a few minutes, but I wanted somewhere to just breathe for a few minutes. "Natasha smiles gently and nods in understanding, going to his side and laying a soft hand on his arm. "You're avoiding Steve. Well you're attempting to avoid everyone, but more specifically Steve and Thor. You barley even talk to Bruce and Rhodey either."

Pain and guilt flashes in his eyes and he drops his head not meeting her eyes. Natasha sighs reproachfully and reaches up, running her fingers through his soft hair. "Tony, you don't have to feel guilty. You didn't do anything, they just want to help. We all want to help." He pulls violently from her grasp, surprising her, a chocking gasp coming from him as he slides to the floor, head in his hands. "Natasha I CAN'T. It IS my fault. Thor lost his brother, Steve lost his image of Howard-"He chokes on the name and swallows painfully before continuing. "-I don't even know how to talk to anyone anymore Natasha. Bruce and Rhodey….I'm too afraid. I've only really been talking to you and Pepper, and Clint, because that stubborn bastard won't GO AWAY." Natasha's heart aches and she runs her hand through his hair soothingly once more. "You didn't ruin anything Tony. Loki lost his mind before anything that happened with you, and Howard was a bastard, not telling Steve that wouldn't have made it disappear, even though it was noble to try. You can't avoid everyone forever."

Tony lifts her head up and looks at her eyes unsure and nervous. "Will you just stay here with me? Until Steve or Clint finds us? His voice is pathetically hopeful and his expression in so desperate and innocent, she can't say no." She nods and he crumples in relief, curling up into her lap like a child. They sit there and Natasha hums some of an old lullaby she remembers from Russia until she feels Tony's breathing even out against her. She smiles and leans her head back on the wall, letting herself doze as Tony warms her like a giant blanket. She almost doesn't hear the soft footsteps approaching her, but as they get closer her eyelids flutter open and she sees Clint drop down beside her, his arm curving around her and pulling her head against his shoulder. Neither of them says anything. They don't need to. Natasha knows Clint just needs to be close, and he knows Natasha doesn't mind. So they just look into each other's eyes for a little while, enjoying the quiet.

Tony suddenly murmurs in his sleep, his expression becoming painted, and Natasha hums again in reassurance. Clint listens quietly for a moment before he picks up the tune with her and Tony stills, her expression smoothing out into the calm one of sleep again. Natasha smiles brightly at him and Clint's heart flutters at the love in her eyes that sparkles as he hums the gentle tune with her. Natasha sighs lays her head on his shoulder humming softly until she falls asleep, and Clint keeps humming after her, watching over Tony and Natasha as they sleep, trying to keep away the nightmares. Until finally his voice goes horse and he gives in and succumbs to sleep, one arms holding Natasha tightly and the other hovering near Tony's Ark Reactor, causing shadows to dance across the walls in blue light as they all sleep peacefully for the first time in a week.


	6. Chapter 6

Tony yawned as he walked towards the lab and he cursed himself silently. He just slept last night in Natasha and Clint's arms, for God's sake, what more did his body need? A hug circle?" "**_Maybe a regular sleeping pattern?"_** His internal voice of logic which sounded suspiciously like Pepper answered him and he grimaced. He had tried to sleep on his own, he couldn't though. It had been awkward waking up in the arms of two of the most terrifying people on the planet, yet he felt safe. He wouldn't admit that of course but he did. Sometimes even with Pepper he was to worried that someone could hurt her while they were sleeping to get any real rest, but Natasha and Clint could protect themselves, and he just let his role as the protector fall around them for one night. It was the closest he felt to anyone but Pepper since Peggy died. It felt good.

"**_What are you DOING Tony? Are you stupid? You can't actually feel safe. These people don't care, why would they? You're worth NOTHING!"_** There was his more normal internal voice, which happened to sound a lot like his father today, growling at him once more. **_"These people can't help you, can't love you. No one can love a monster, and you are a monster. Like father like son._**

"**_SHUT UP!"_** He screamed in his head, his breathing hitching as Tony fell against the doorframe and his mind filled with images of blood and shadows, his past sneaking up on him ready to pounce. His breathing becomes ragged and Tony clutches his chest desperately. "No. No no no no no no no…." He panics and desperately crawls into the lab curling into a pathetic ball on the floor and trying to calm his frantic heart as the flashbacks gripped him tightly. "Dammit!" He yells frantically. White moves in on the edges of his vision and reality begins to slip slowly away from him. He can feel Howard Stark's fists pound into him, can see Peggy fall to the ground, feel warm blood on his hand and hear the frantic screams begging him to just stop…. "STOP God PLEASE stop it!" He cries brokenly with fear coating his voice. Tears run down his face and he desperately looks around for something, anything, to pull him back to reality, when he sees a simple screwdriver sitting on the floor and grabs it desperately.

Without a second though he grips it tightly digging the cool metal into his skin and sighing in relief as he watched the blood run over his arm, staining his skin. The images start to fade and his breathing slows. It's his blood, only his blood. Everyone is fine, except him. Only his blood…. The dark red liquid pulls Tony back to reality quickly and he is immediately stung with a painful guilt. He wasn't supposed to do this, hurting himself, anymore. He was supposed to be trying for everyone, for Pepper. His heart rate steadies and he clumsily stands and looks around for some bandages to stop the blood flow before he changes his mind about wanting to stop it.

"Tony, hey wher- Oh god." Tony's heart drops as he recognizes Bruce's horrified voice at the door and swings around nervously, regretting it as soon as he does. Bruce is frozen at the door, his eyes tinted green, pain etched into his face as he stares at the blood running down Tony's arm.

"Tony-"Tony flinches as Bruce chokes on his words, the pain in the others man voice feeling like a punch in the gut. Bruce's expression freezes suddenly, and he takes a deep breath crossing the room to Tony and taking his arm gently examining the cut. "Come here I have a first aid kit on my desk." His voice is sad and Tony follows guiltily as Bruce gently sits him down cleaning the wound with nimble fingers. "How do I get the make- up off Tony?" his voice is stern and Tony looks up confused. "What?" Bruce's eyes harden. "Tell me how to get the make-up off your arm." Tony nods confused still and points to the alcohol pads sitting in the first aid kit. "That will take it off." Bruce nods curtly and grabs the pads running them over Tony's arms. Tony closes his eyes. He doesn't want to see Bruce's disgust as he uncovers his patchwork of scars. "Tony open your eyes, right now." Bruce's voice is stern still, but gentler, coxing Tony's eyes open.

Bruce ghosts his fingers over the scars, the bandage on the new one and sighs shakily. Tony is surprised not to see disgust in his eyes, but sadness, and anger. "Tony I'm not letting this happen again. No more make-up. No more hiding. I'm going to be checking every day for more scars, understand?" Tony nods, touched at the concern in Bruce's voice and without warning Bruce pulls Tony into his arms for an awkward hug. "I don't want to lose you Tony. You're my best friend okay?" Tony hears Bruce's voice crack at the end and warm tears fall on his shoulder from Bruce. Guilt pools heavily in Tony's stomach for upsetting Bruce and he wraps his arms around Bruce tightly trying to comfort him. "I-I'm sorry." Tony stutters his voice raw and weak and Bruce pulls away looking into Tony's eyes. "You don't have to do this. There are other ways, you can talk to us, and we're here for you!" Tony bites his lip and nods. "I don't know why you are though. You're all still here, you, you were supposed to leave by now." Bruce's expression changes to one of confusion and Tony freezes in shock of what he just said. "What do you mean we were supposed to leave by now?"

Tony try's to pull away quickly but Bruce grips Tony's arm tightly waiting for an answer. Tony struggles but he can feel tears pooling in his eyes again as he finally gives in. "You're supposed to leave, everyone leaves. You know who I really am now so I have no idea why you're all still here. You can't care, so why would you stay?" Tony lets his eyes drop to the floor, his voice barley a whisper. There is silence for a moment before Bruce growls pulling Tony's chin up forcing their eyes to meet. "Tony Stark, that is bullshit. We all care about you. You protected me, when no one else ever would, you're here for us all, watching and taking care of us, the team adores you, Pepper is so in love with you it's sinful and you love her back. You never leave us no matter how bad we get, so why would we leave you!?"

Tony's eyes widen in shock and for once he is just struck speechless. He wants to believe it, he wants to so bad…he just can't yet. "Bruce…" He lets all the years of pain seep into his voice then and Bruce pulls him close again, and Tony is oddly reminded of what a dad, what a brother, is supposed to be like.

"No one is going anywhere Tony. I promise. But I'm not letting you go anywhere either."

**Alright opinions? I have always have had some difficulty writing Bruce, so I hope I captured him okay in this chapter. I still am not to sure about it, but here you go anyway. Love y'all, please review.**


	7. Chapter 7

In retrospect, Clint barging into Tony's lab like a bat out of hell wasn't what was surprising, it was that the archer had tears pooling in his blue eyes when he hardly ever showed weakness. That tore Tony up and made him feel like a downright asshole, even more than making Bruce cry earlier. "Clint?" the question in his voice rang and Clint ignored him marching right up to Tony and pulling him into his arms for a fierce hug. Tony froze under Clint's touch. Everyone was hugging him lately, it was weird.

"Jarvis shut down this lab right now, Tony and I need to talk." The anger in Clint's voice did not go unnoticed and Tony didn't even bother questioning Clint's right to boss his A.I. around as the archer pulled away and paced in front of Tony.

"You cut yourself. Bruce told me." Clint stopped pacing and he met Tony's eyes, his expression hurt and murderous. "Tony, I want to see the scars. Right now." Tony's heart races and he breathing rapidly increases as he nervously traces his scarred skin that he'd been hiding. "You-why?" Clint just glares accusingly and Tony pales and complies, holding his arms out nervously. Clint sighs sadly and runs his fingers up Tony's arm. "So this is what you did." Tony frowns confused, because it feels like that was Clint's answer to a question Tony never heard. "What are you talking about?"

Clint's eyes look up at him, and for a moment it's as if they have aged 50 years and Tony's heart plummets. Why did he always have to make everyone around him so miserable? He hurt everyone, without even trying. Suddenly Clint growls fiercely and grabs Tony's wrist looking him in the eye. "Stop it." Tony cocks his head to the side in confusion, pulled out of his thought. "Stop what?" Clint relaxes his grip and little and runs his other hand along Tony's scars. "Putting yourself down in your head." Tony's eyes widen and he opens his mouth to speak when Clint interrupts him. "You know Tony, I always admired you. Iron Man, Tony Stark, the genius. I knew there were problems in your family just by looking at you those times they showed you on T.V. I guess it takes a guy with daddy issues to see it in someone else. I just didn't know how bad they were for you. I saw you get captured, I saw you become Iron Man, and I was in awe."

Clint chokes up a moment and Tony doesn't say anything out of pure shock as Clint continues. "Then I met you, and you were a way better guy than anyone said you were, or gave you credit for. Without even trying you became my best friend, fast. I've never had many friends. Coulson and Natasha were it really. Then you had to go be you and for some damn reason you became my friend. Besides Natasha, because I'm in love with her, you slowly became the most important person to me. I thought I knew you pretty well, too well even, then this whole thing happened, and I knew I was wrong. You were MUCH braver, stronger, and a bigger hero than I ever imagined. The only thing is, I was hurt, hurt that it took Loki for us to see any of that. That you were content to let it torture you, let it eat you from the inside out until one of us found your body with a suicide note or a gun in your hand!" Clint's whole framed shook with rage and Tony dropped his head in shame trying to pull away when Clint grabbed Tony's chin and forced him to look him in the eye yet again.

"You are content to let everything any of those bastards ever did to you be your fault. Is that what these scars are Tony? You punishing yourself for their crimes?" Clint's eyes were a blazing blue; Tony hadn't seen him so angry since Nat had been nearly killed in her last solo mission. Clint's hands were shaking despite the steel in his voice and Tony couldn't help the intense wave of guilt that nearly flattened him right at that moment for the pain in his friends voice and he figured he owed Clint an honest answer.

"Sometimes. There are- a lot of reasons. Sometimes I'll… sometimes it's a panic attack, like tonight. I use to have them a lot more, but they'd been getting better until Loki. Everything, everything comes back in such a rush of memories that I can't breathe, I'll be stuck like that for hours if something doesn't pull me back, so I grab the nearest sharp thing, to save myself from reliving everything I try to forget. Other times- Other times I'll cut myself to make sure there is still blood, that I'm still somewhat human. Then others, it's just to see if I'll actually get up and bandage it, if I have to strength to. Or if I can just let myself bleed because I deserve it." Tony's voice had dropped to a harsh whisper and Clint's eyes were still fixed on him, his face one of shock at such a brutally honest answer.

Everything was quiet for a moment before finally Clint shook his head and pulled Tony into his arms again, and Tony knew he was doing it more for his own comfort, trying to make sure Tony is still there.

"You don't have to anymore. We'll pull you back. No more hurting yourself, ever again. You have no idea what it'd be like for me if I lost you. Coulson….god Tony don't make me lose anyone else. Not another brother. I hate seeing you hurt, so just… don't. When I hear what you think of yourself it was like a stab to the gut because that means I'm being a crappy friend. You aren't a monster, you aren't evil. You always were and always will be a hero. The only one in the world who needs protection from you, is yourself. I hate it, that your bastard of a father went into your head and made you think you aren't worth anything. It's not true. To know that for some reason you think you deserve all that pain…. God Tony! We all love you and need you here!You aren't allowed to leave us. You aren't allowed to hurt yourself when people have already hurt you. None of it was your fault, not a bit. We aren't ever going to let anyone hurt you again. We're your family now Tony and we aren't going to hurt you. Ever." Clint pulled away, tears running freely down his face and he gently traced Tony's wrist again. "You aren't alone anymore. I won't ever let you be, I lost a brother once, and I won't let it happen again."

**Shameless Bromance there... sorry Tony and Clint are just to amazing for their own good. They have to be best friends. Hope you enjoyed, please review!**


	8. Chapter 8

"Steve." Steve froze when he heard Tony's voice softly calling to him. Tony had barley spoken to him since the Loki incident; something had to be wrong for Tony to seek him out.

"Steve please turn around, we need to talk." Steve turned and what a sight he did see when he turned around. Tony was standing in the door to his room, twittering his thumbs. His hair was all ruffled to one side of his head, and eyes were darting around the room trying not to meet Steve's. He was nervous, and that was rare and a little scary for Steve, even if it was good Tony wasn't trying as hard to hide his feelings.

"Tony?" Steve tried softly, trying to quell the panic rising in his chest and tell himself that nothing's wrong. Tony bit his lip and sighed finally looking up and meeting Steve's eyes. "Steve I've come to apologize." Steve's jaw dropped instantly and he stuttered. "A- Apologize? What on Earth would you-?" Tony held up his hand, his features tied and he spoke softly. "Steve, I have been avoiding you all, but you and Thor especially. That isn't fair at all, at least not without an explanation. I-" Tony's eyes slammed shut and he shuddered. Steve probably would have reached out to steady him had he not been frozen in shock. "I know you and Howard had been friends. I never wanted you to know more so than the others. You didn't have a lot of good memories to hold onto, and I didn't want to tarnish those memories by mixing them with what Howard was truly like. Worse I couldn't face it if you agreed with h-"Tony froze, realizing he said too much and started to turn away when Steve quickly crossed to him and grabbed Tony's smaller shoulder gently but forcefully.

"Tony look at me." Tony's eyes flitted up to meet Steve's and Steve mentally killed Howard for the millionth time in his mind for the fear he saw there. "Tony," He tried to put as much gentleness and kindness in his words as possible. "There is no way I would agree with what he did to you. You did NOT deserve that. You didn't ruin any memories for me. I saw a man who I had known as he truly was yes, but that doesn't change the memories, just lets me see him in a new light. I would much, MUCH rather you talk, to me, talk to anyone, and so instead of memories of a man who apparently I didn't even know, I can have memories of you. Tony, I know that you can't push on much longer without talking to someone. I don't want to lose you. The past is the past and even if I miss it, I won't lose what I have now, which you're a part of. The team, you, even Pepper, are my family now. I plan on taking care of you all. So please, PLEASE don't ever think that you should be guilty about a misconception I had. I'M sorry that the man you had as a father did those things to you, ruined your life that way."

Tony's surprised eyes searched Steve's for a moment before he nodded. "Do you think I was wrong to kill him?" Steve shook his head without a second thought. "If you hadn't, I would have even if he was 100 when I came out. Clint's still trying to figure out how to bring him back from the dead to kill him again ya know." Steve smiled trying to lighten the mood a bit and was rewarded with Tony's half smile. "Thanks." Steve smiled brightly and released Tony's shoulder. "Anytime."

Tony shot him one last smile before retreating out Steve's door and Steve let him go. He knew that someone was following Tony, even if Tony didn't. Shooting another thoughtful glance at the door Tony just disappeared out of Steve sat down on his bed and opened his sketchpad, and carefully began to draw Peggy and young Tony that faithful Christmas, trying to capture the joy both had felt evident their eyes.

"Stunning work, as always Steve." Steve's head shot up once again at the sound of a new voice and was met with Natasha sitting right in front of him smirking. "Tony?" He asked worryingly and Natasha just shook her head. "Clint has him, he's fine."

Steve nodded automatically relaxing and sat the pencil down staring at Natasha. She smiled tiredly at him and he returned it taking careful note of the dark circles under the redhead's eyes.

"Natasha, you haven't been sleeping." He said it accusingly but she just shrugged. "No one has, not really." She stood up from the bed and sighed, running her hand absentmindedly through her hair. "Look Steve, I need to tell you what's been up. Bruce… well Bruce found Tony after a panic attack yesterday. Tony cut himself, Bruce is pretty sure it's the first time Tony has done it since we went into his mind. Clint and Bruce already talked to him, but Clint has gotten even more protective, if that's possible. Tony told him why he cut, and it unnerved Clint. He thinks he got through to Tony some though which is good. I just need you to prepared for things like this happening, because I know…well…cutting…suicide… all that wasn't near as common in the 40's as it is now and it probably confused you."

A range of emotions played on Steve's face, ranging from horror to slight relief and settling on acceptance. He took a moment to process all the information going through his mind when he saw the painstakingly hurt expression on Natasha's face and looked worryingly up at her. "Natasha, are you alright?" Her gaze turned glassy and she just nodded sadly. "I'm alright as I can be. I won't be better until he is. I can't lose him." Steve nodded in agreement and for a moment they sat in gentle silence when he found the courage to ask a question that had been nagging Steve's mind since they came out of Tony's memories.

"Will he ever be alright?" Natasha looked up at his sudden question her face unreadable as she read him. She opened her mouth, but for a moment nothing came out, until finally she sighed and gave up, answering truthfully. "Honestly Steve, No-I don't think anyone can ever been completely okay after the life he's lived. We're just lucky he's not some damn twisted super villain, because he has every right to be."

Steve felt his own posture slip into a defeated one before Natasha quickly corrected herself, realizing how bad it sounded. She still wasn't good with this whole emotion thing, she was use to Clint, and now apparently Tony, being able to read her. Natasha didn't usually have to explain herself, so she ended up giving half answers a lot. "That doesn't mean we can't help Steve, I didn't mean it to sound like that. The self-hate, we can do our very best to nip that in the bud. I think we're already proving to him that we truly care. There's always hope, and we aren't ever leaving him, so we've got plenty of time."

Steve smiled weakly and Natasha patted his back reassuringly. "I have to go Steve. Clint won't let Tony out of his sight unless I'm right there watching Tony for him, and he needs sleep." Steve gave a half-hearted nod and her hand slipped away as she gracefully disappeared out of the room. Steve fell back onto his bed and sighed, curled up in the covers and the small warmth they provided, and his poor overtired and worried brain quickly pulled him into sleep.


	9. Chapter 9

"Look, Clint, you really don't have to come to my business meeting." Clint crossed his arms and glared at Tony with a look so determined and sad Tony immediately crumbled. "Fine Clint… Whatever you want." That earned him a soft smile from Clint and Tony rolled his eyes straightening his tie as he and Clint made their way out to the limo. Tony was actually in a pretty decent mood today. He had designed an amazing new drawing app after watching Steve work on his sketching, and he knew it would blow the board away. His only regret was Pepper wasn't going to be there, she was catching up on some sleep at his insistence, since she actually wasn't required at this meeting.

He knew she was staying up to watch him even if she was denying it. Tony hated how Loki's damn mind games had affected his team, and him. Everyone treated him like glass now, and hell he felt like it. All he wanted was for this all to blow over and everyone to relax. He hated that Loki had sent him swirling down once again, and this time his team, his only family, was coming down right with him.

He stole a quick glance at Clint as they slipped into the limo, and rolled his eyes as he saw the man was pretending he wasn't checking the streets for threats, and that his hand wasn't resting on his gun. Happy was humming along with whatever godforsaken band was playing on the radio, and the whole scene was just calm, making it easy for Tony to get lost in his thoughts, even if he was still getting goose bumps from Clint's endless staring, along with the guilt at the bags under Clint's eyes, knowing he was the reason for them.

Tony had been shocked at their reactions. It had been three days since Bruce had forced him to stop covering his scars, and he hadn't cut since. He knew the longer he went without it the less chance he had of it coming back. He'd only had one panic attack, and Bruce had been there to pull him out before it got bad.

He still had been avoiding both Thor and Rhodey though. He felt guilty as hell about it…..he just hadn't had the courage. It had taken all he had to go to Steve, but he had so much more to fear from Rhodey and Thor. Tony had basically taken Thor's brother forever, and Rhodey was probably going to hate him for keeping so much a secret even though they had known each other since MIT.

"Stop thinking yourself stupid and get out of the car Tony." Clint laughed fondly, snapping Tony out of his thoughts and he stepped out of the car, smiling as a few people recognized him and started snapping pictures. "Thinking is kind of my bread and butter Katniss." Clint just smirked and snorted stepping up beside him as they quickly made their way into the building trying to get away from the camera's as quick as possible.

"So, I thought meetings were Pepper's thing?" Clint said curiously as they slipped into the elevator and Tony just shrugged guiltily in response. "Most of them I'm supposed to go to with her. I took this one because you are all so insistent on watching me she's practically falling asleep talking lately." Tony shot a semi accusing glare towards Clint but the archer just shrugged it off unaffected.

"We'll all give up as much sleep as we need to keep you safe. You mean more than that to us Tony." Tony couldn't help the happiness that suddenly shot through his body and he smiled softly at Clint. "Thanks." Clint winked playfully and shrugged again. "No problem man. Always here for you." Tony smiled brightly as the doors slid open to the board room. "Well I hope you're here for me for the next 3 hours of boredom. Get ready!" He whispered sarcastically earning a snicker from Clint as they separated Clint to a dark corner behind Tony's chair and Tony to his chair at the head of the table. Tony sighed and put on his million watt smile stepping up with his usual swagger and earning a few indulgent eye rolls from his board members, only making him smile wider. "Well everyone, I'm here, let's get this party started!"

….

Clint watched Tony work the board easily and smiled. The man knew how to charm. It made him proud to see his friend so confident and in his element again, totally taking charge and getting what he wants.

The meeting itself other than Tony was quite boring and Clint could totally understand why Tony bailed out all the time, even if it did get a lethally pissed off Pepper on his case. These things could very well be as deadly, Clint was seriously thinking about talking to Fury about putting some prisoners through this; they'd be talking in minutes. Clint spend most of the time daydreaming about shooting arrows into these people's heads, only paying attention when Tony talked until the damn meeting from hell finally ended.

"All right so we agreed that I'm right? Right. Because I'm always right. Lorry I cannot hear your objections, this apps going up and no one cares." Clint froze and locked his eyes on Tony's figure. He could hear the warning in his friend's voice, someone was actually upsetting him. Clint quickly scanned the room, to find a small but round man, about 4'11 glowering up at Tony, face beat red and all scrunched up, making him look a chubby child throwing a fit, even if the man did seem rather old.

"I swear I wish your father hadn't left this company to you. You're a spoiled little brat and your father was three times the man you are." Clint actually saw red for a moment, and barley registered Tony freeze and go deathly pale before he was across the room a dagger to the chubby man Lorry's throat.

The man froze and looked up at him shocked and terrified. Clint just smirked evilly and pressed the knife hard enough to draw a tiny bit of blood. "Tony Stark is one of the greatest men I have ever met, thousands of times better than his grease bag father. Now if I ever hear you or anyone say something like that again I will slit your throat while you sleep, and only cut deep enough so you can open your eyes and see me smiling before you choke on your own blood. Understand?" He kept his tone even but menacing and the effect was perfect. The man's eyes went wide with undiluted terror and nodded slowly, shaking in Clint's grip. Clint just rolled his eyes angrily pushing the man off him and into the table, turning around and dragging Tony out of the meeting slamming the door behind them.


	10. Chapter 10

"Clint." Clint sighed and turned towards the voice of Tony slowly. He had dragged the man all the way down the stairs, completely skipping the elevator and practically pushed him into the limo which was already moving, not giving Tony any chance to respond to his scene in the meeting.

He wasn't sure what Tony was going to say, he just didn't want to hear Tony say he shouldn't have defended him or some crap like that, because honestly he was TERRIFIED that the whole thing would destroy any progress the team had made with Tony since Loki's spell.

Clint reluctantly turned towards him and was met with a bone crushing hug. He gasped in response but Tony just hugged him tighter and he cautiously moved his arms around the billionaire in return. "_Thank you Clint."_ Tony whispered awed and Clint smiled slightly as Tony gently pulled away, big brown eyes lightened with obvious happiness and awe.

"Anytime Tony." He said gently squeezing Tony's shoulder in reassurance, earning him a giant smile. The flicker of hope in his stomach grew, and Clint nearly passed out in relief that they hadn't lost Tony.

…

"Thor?" Thor was sitting on the roof, staring at the stars and eating a Pop-Tart, lost in his thoughts when he heard Tony's voice break the quiet.

"Brother Tony, come sit." He said kindly and soon found the mussed genius sitting next to him nervously. Thor took an appraising look at him and was taken aback at how frightened Tony looked. "Tony, is there something wrong?" He said softly, trying to keep his voice even so as to not frighten the man off.

Tony's brown eyes shot up to meet his and he sighed, his hands absently twirling the extra fabric on his shirt into a knot. "I need to talk to you, about Loki."

Thor immediately froze, and the Pop-Tarts he had been eating were crushed to dust in his hands. "Y-yes?" He said strained, trying his very best not to get defensive or snap at the abused man beside him. Tony reluctantly put one of his calloused hands on top of Thor's and took a shuttering breath.

"He couldn't have come back. I wouldn't have trapped him if there was even a chance. When I went into his mind Thor- Loki is dead. When those things grabbed your brother after his fall from the Bi frost, they killed anything that was left of Loki at that point. He was basically dead, they were using his body. All they did was restart his heart, not his sentient mind. I would have tried for you if there was anything left to save, I'm so sorry Thor."

Thor let a gentle hand fall to Tony's back, comforting the man distressed. "I knew." He whispered painfully. "There wasn't any Loki left in his eyes since his fall from the Bi Frost. I saw he was only a walking corpse. I didn't want to believe it. I wasn't ready to grieve and instead thought it better to blame my brother for things he was no longer in control of."

Tony looked up at Thor sadly. "I saw the last thing he saw at the Bi Frost Thor. It was you. You and Loki battling with wooden swords. You were both happy, for once and it was just the two of you. You were the last thing he thought of as he died."

Thor took a stuttering breath to try and hold back tears to no avail, pulling Tony towards him into a crushing hug for comfort. Tony froze for a moment then awkwardly put his arms around the crying warrior. "I know, Thor, I know." He whispered sadly. Thor heard and whispered in a choked sob, the lost stinging even more at the man who reminded him so much of the brother he lost. "I was never angry with you Tony. It was not your fault." Tony says nothing, but Thor can feel him relax visibly at his words. Tony can feel the relief at the forgiveness he knows he shouldn't have been seeking, his worn out heart stitched back together a little more.

For the first time in so long, there is a tiny flame or hope flickering in Tony's soul, and he wants to let it grow, he just doesn't know if it's a fool's hope or not that maybe someone finally cares about him.


End file.
